A good sex life takes time and effort to maintain. It won’t always be
easy — our busy lives are taxing and often leave us tired and devoid of
the imagination and motivation required to keep up the pace. Having
good sex doesn’t necessarily mean spending hours and hours of frolicking
or adding a few vibrator or other sex toy into the mix, it can be as simple as doing something a little different just for a change.
Women are cyclic creatures, and her sex drive will vary depending
on her hormones and what’s going on in her life. Sometimes it takes a
bit longer to get her hot and the same-old song and dance may not be
enough. This applies to you too. Therefore, it's important to add a few
more stimulating aspects to your sex life to keep things interesting.
Here are 9 tips for having better sex, which should keep the two of you hot for some time to come.
1. Use A Blindfold
Sexual pleasure has many dimensions, but the most important sexual
organ we have is our brain. When one sense is hindered, our other senses
— via the brain — clamor to compensate. For example, a deaf person has
increased sensory awareness — sight, smell, touch, and vibrations. For
No. 10 entry on our 10 tips for better sex guide, we're telling you that
you can tap into this innate ability of ours and use it to your
advantage: Blindfolding your partner
increases her sensory awareness. She doesn’t know where you are or what
you are going to do next. This creates anticipation for better sex —
the tease. Tease her mercilessly with sensory objects, such as a feather
or your tongue. Start off softly, as this excites her nerve endings and
makes them far more sensitive. Be careful not to overstimulate the
nerve endings, however, because after a while the neurons stop firing
with such intensity and the sensation becomes null and void.
2. Try Being A Teacher - And A Student
After a while you may think you know how to please your partner in
every way, but this is very rarely true. There is always something you
haven’t tried, and there is bound to be something one of you always does
that could be done differently.
To combat this, have a lesson session in which you don’t think you
know it all, and are at each other's mercy as teacher. Talk about things
you haven’t tried, but would like to, then choose one suggestion from
each partner, and get down and dirty. We often get caught thinking we
know what our partners like, and after a while it becomes "the way it’s
done." Lose this myth and put yourself in the student's chair for a
while for better sex you won't regret.
3. Trade Sensual Massages
Sensual touch is one of the most highly relaxing and sexy things you
can do for your partner, which is why it makes it onto our 10 tips for
better sex list. Our bodies are almost without exception tense in some
area, if not many areas. This hinders our energy flow — including sexual
energy flow. Imagine a car that has a clogged fuel filter: the fuel
(our energy) can’t get to where it needs to go quickly and smoothly, and
the car performs inefficiently and ineffectively.
A relaxing sensual massage can unlock her body to some very intense
orgasms and much better sex in the end. The ability to relax your
partner in this way should be high on your list of skills to master. The
same goes for her: The difference between a deeply relaxing massage and
a sensual massage is in the manner of touch — you don’t want to relax
her too deeply because she will probably fall straight to sleep.
The key in this case is to keep her senses alert, but her body
relaxed. This means a firm touch, coupled with some sensory
feather-light caresses. Once you've relaxed her major muscles —
shoulders and back — work your way down to her buttocks. Strokes can
then start to wander near to, but not on, her inner thighs, butt crease
and vagina. Don’t forget her hands and feet — there are thousands of
nerve endings in our hands and feet that are very sensitive to touch. If
you have no idea what a good massage feels like or how to perform one,
spend some time in "lesson time" with your partner and learn what you
both like or just run your hands all over her body — all over. Don’t skip to the hot spots or you’ll ruin the effect.
4. Get Into Some Dress-Up
Pretending to be something you're not comes easily to some people.
However, it has its benefits when done for fun. Stepping out of the role
of being "yourself" can be a fun way to give each other permission to
behave differently for better sex. Playing the role of someone else
during sexual play is a very enjoyable way to give your partner some
different sensations, and try things that you haven’t done before. Role playing
is a great way to have better sex and to have fun with your partner in a
light-hearted but sexy way. It is often the woman who does the dressing
up simply because A) They enjoy it; and B) They have the resources of
clothes, underwear and makeup — but don't forget that you can play too..
5. Talk About Your Fantasies
Talking about your fantasies with your partner is a very conducive form of sex play. It increases communication with your partner,
which is of great importance, as well, it also helps you get to know
each other better for better sex. Yes, you may be surprised by what
comes out of her mouth, but this works both ways. Keep it light at first
and don’t throw her in the deep end with fantasies about people you
both know or reveal fetishes you aren't sure about. Sit back with a
glass of wine and keep your clothes on — for now. Fantasy play can also
be incorporated into a game for better sex. Use your imagination, and
keep it sexy. Take it in turns and see where it leads you.
6. Play A Game
Get a pack of cards and play strip poker for better sex. It may seem
like something you would have done when you were in high school (given
the opportunity), but adult strip poker is a good way to get naked. Once
you are both naked (or nearly naked), you can start on the really fun
part: A loss means the other person gets to choose what action is
performed on them by the loser. Time limits like one minute on said
action means that it is a prolonged game of seduction, which by the end
will have you both clamoring to be both the winner and the loser. There
are many other games you can play "strip" to, as long as there is
regular winner and loser to reward and punish respectively. The great
part about these games is that you can both ask the other person to do
something in a certain way that you may not necessarily have ever done
before. It can get rather filthy, and definitely lead to better sex in
the end.
7. Talk Dirty
Talking dirty has turned people on for millennia and will continue to
do so because it has something other sex play doesn’t: words. Because
our brains are our largest sexual apparatus, we respond to the spoken
word automatically — especially when someone says our name. The spoken
word evokes emotions, sensations and blood flow to various regions,
depending on the topic. This works very much in your favor when it comes
to talking dirty to your lover because women are especially susceptible
to what goes in their ears (and I don’t mean cotton buds or ear
candles). Talking dirty is, however, an art form and when done badly can
result in fits of giggles (which, lets face it, ain't so bad but isn't
quite the goal here). Don’t let this deter you.
Start off easy with neutral dirty-talk topics, such as how you feel
inside her, how much you are enjoying the act and what you would like to
do to her next. Don’t get too carried away, but let it flow out of you.
Dirty talk can be a bit daunting at first, if you are not used to
verbalizing these things, so practice. You will see how she responds to
you. Dirty talk also comes under the "encouragement" category — when she
sees that you like something very much, she will be more interested in
doing it more. The rawness of the sexual passion aroused with dirty talk
is why it is so effective. Be careful with swearing too much — though a
good dose of foul language is part and parcel with dirty talk (its not
called dirty talk for nothing), too much swearing/name calling can be a
turn off. Try to stick to positive words, and leave the commonly used
insult words out. Watch what you call her body parts
too — just make sure she can handle it before launching into your
tirade of filth. Chances are, the passion from you will ignite hers
two-fold.
8. Try Some New Positions
You already know how to bring her to orgasm
in two ways (probably). You repeat these regularly because they work —
there's no harm in that. However, if you never, ever try any new
positions again, how will you ever know? New positions need a reasonably
high level of arousal in your lover, so choose your time to strike a
new pose when she is quite obviously feeling very randy.
There is no limit to the number of ways to have sex, so you can use
your imagination and come up with as many weird and wonderful inventions
as you desire. Simply changing locations can dramatically change the
position, so consider this too (for example on top of the washing
machine, on a bench, beanbag or table).
9. Use A Cock Ring
Cock rings
slow the drain of blood out of your erection, and keep you harder for
longer. A very hard penis stimulates a woman’s insides slightly
differently — and much better — than one that is getting soft around the
edges. Cock rings are inexpensive and usually nice to look at, and make
an interesting male sex toy to add to your collection. Cock rings
ensure that you can maintain the pace without faltering for better sex.
This is very pleasing to your lady friend.
